The Blog of Want

maya gabeira

2011-09-06T19:46:00.000-07:00

this chick:

is the same chick as this chick:

maya gabeira gives a whole new meaning to the phrase psycho hot chick.

salomé

2011-02-13T17:28:00.000-08:00

there is a photograph that has always disturbed me. it comes not from the depths of the /b/ board, but from richard elleman's oscar wilde biography, where it is identified as oscar wilde himself:

part of the horror was the irrepressible urge to fondle his man-breasts. (plus it didn't really look like his nose to me.) so it was with great relief that I learned today from an old guardian article that neither photo nor breasts are those of oscar wilde. they belong to alice guszalewicz, a hungarian soprano. wilde, and my heterosexual pretensions, are vindicated.

yvonne craig

2010-08-17T19:59:00.000-07:00

as batgirl, source of my first and, as we go to press, last boner.

also played green pole-dancing alien in original star trek. this woman has led a full life.

twitter

2010-07-28T09:10:00.001-07:00

a twitter account. because no one can see you touching yourself on the internet. unless you're on chatroulette or something.

katy perry

2010-07-13T21:50:00.000-07:00

very few photos have the power to arouse me in and of themselves. this one did:

prerna gupta

2010-07-12T20:55:00.000-07:00

prerna gupta was written up in the new york times a couple days ago.

she's much more wantable in the photo from the times article than the montage from her site (except that she looks kinda like she's balding).

renee rosnes

2010-06-28T19:21:00.000-07:00

renee rosnes is one of those canadian jazz pianists who will look awkward and even homely one moment:

then amazingly beautiful and desirable the next:

(with the aptly named maucha adnet)

nikki haley

2010-06-14T19:23:00.000-07:00

she's a successful businesswoman and rising star in the teabagger movement. she's poised to be the non-white, non-male governor of south carolina, the state that puts the "ole south" in "good ole south". and best of all, she's (allegedly) loose.

but she's a bit mannish looking. so a sloppy meh.

elna baker

2010-06-06T11:58:00.000-07:00

I admit, as a weird little postmodern deviant who has imagined almost every sort of depravity, and even ended up doing a few of them: the internet has spoiled me. nothing is sacred. nothing is unphotographed and posted on the /b/ boards at irregular intervals.

so it only makes sense that things should come full circle and the only thing that can excite me nowadays is a geeky 27 year-old mormon virgin:

more photos here: elnabaker.com

bachmann-palin overdrive

2010-04-18T13:06:00.000-07:00

the stupidity — well, not stupidity, the willful ignorance — of these two is exceeded only by their absolute milfy-ness.

we had nailin' palin. we need a nasty bachmann-palin threesome.

katheryn bigelow

2010-03-07T23:23:00.000-08:00

that's not the oscar for best director she's holding:

that's the oscar for hottest fucking babe at the academy awards.

marina abramović

2010-03-04T19:08:00.000-08:00

is marina abramović really 63 years-old?

apparently. she must have made a deal with the devil. and I don't blame him.

that's what I call a sexegenarian. and she's got one of the best google image searches out there. even on moderated, it's dirty.

now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go lay in my seedbed.

christina hendricks

2010-02-22T18:21:00.001-08:00

one word: want

(By the way, I don't think her tresses are real.)

tiger prey: aimee grubbs

2009-12-05T09:59:00.000-08:00

you know, I didn't know until this morning that 3 — and now I see, four! — Tiger Woods mistresses have emerged. one of the perils of using the bbc and new york times as your primary news sources. anyway, making up for lost time, I present a new blog of want series: "tiger prey: the tiger woods mistresses".

first up:

and that's a pretty solid: meh

taryn simon

2009-10-04T12:43:00.000-07:00

taryn simon is a strikingly beautiful photographer who takes interesting pictures and uses tedious academic jargon.

this photo is attributed to her, but I'm not sure if she is in the photo or not:

for her lecture on photographs of secret sites, see this ted lecture:

taryn simon photographs secret sites

susan atkins

2009-09-25T16:17:00.000-07:00

susan atkins died today. she was definitely the most wantable of the manson girls:

well, that is, if you don't count sharon tate.

but a life of evil will take its toll:

appropriately she died of brain cancer. but a funny technicality. she made what to all accounts was a sincere conversion to christianity a number of years ago. so there's a good chance she's in heaven right now (if you go in for that sort of thing.)

looking at some of her old photos, i wonder if the world would have been any better served if she had just finished high school, gone to some state college, and ended up a housewife in some orange county suburb.

hannah giles

2009-09-17T19:56:00.000-07:00

hannah giles is either a 20 year old college student who became interested in acting as a prostitute for right-wing media outlets or a 20 year-old prostitute who sometimes shows up for class. either way, she's hot. and not afraid to do kinky, depraved things in front of a camera.

mariah carey

2009-06-07T09:07:00.000-07:00

haven't wanted but all of the sudden I can't get enough of mariah carey.

I predict she's going to be hot until she's at least 60.

and, no, I still can't name one of her songs.

li'l kim

2009-04-18T13:20:00.000-07:00

is li'l kim the sexiest woman alive? that's what I've been thinking the last couple days.

sandra tsing loh

2009-02-10T18:05:00.000-08:00

regular readers of this blog are probably aware by now of my attraction to women of a certain age. sandra tsing loh fits squarely in this category. it probably helps that she's of that generation of women, coming of age in the Reagan era, whose natural beauty and appeal was so totally ruined by the awful tastes and fashions of that era that, by comparison, they look even hotter now that a more rational aesthetic has prevailed. or maybe I've just been burned by too many girls my own age who didn't really know what they wanted.

anyway, smart, foul-mouthed, middle-aged, asian and sexy, sandra tsing loh is everything I want as a young man not quite yet of a certain age.

(when I reach that age, I'll probably want 18 year-old trannies in catholic school girl uniforms.)

erin hamlin, world champion american luger

2009-02-06T23:13:00.000-08:00

from today's new york times:

There was a miracle at Lake Placid 29 years ago, and when you think about a 100-race winning streak, and the type of performance that the Germans have had over the years, this is up there. It’s just not something that people will notice as much, but it’s just as significant.

she's gorgeous. and apparently fearless. can't wait to see the bong photos.

the governor of new york has wanted

2009-01-25T20:50:00.000-08:00

not: carolyn kennedy (left)
want: kirsten gillibrand (right)

me: I want 'em both. get rid of schumer. (not really.)

rayveness

2009-01-25T18:34:00.000-08:00

I just started reading a new york times article on the taxation of brothels in nevada when I noticed the photo with the article:

it's the bunny ranch of hbo's cathouse fame. and I noticed the name rayveness on the billing out front.

I wondered if it was the same rayveness who I've come across on the internet a few times. apparently, it is.

I didn't realize she was so old. but she's right in that sweet spot for women, at least as far as I am concerned. and as hot as ever (though a little too made-up here for my taste):

here she is at her pornographic finest:

now the idea of paying for sex doesn't especially appeal to me, not because it seems empty, but because, from what I've seen of cathouse, it is overpriced. still, for rayveness, I'd be seriously tempted to pull out my credit card, if not drive all the way to nevada.

ariane sherine

2009-01-07T21:17:00.000-08:00

she's one atheist hot enough to make me almost not believe in a god.

west indian girls

2009-01-06T20:21:00.000-08:00

mariqueen maandig and amy white from west indian girl must be the hottest indie pop duo since those twins in the breeders. Or christie mcvie and stevie nicks.

mariqueen maandig really seems a little too hot and a bit too much of a media flirt for her own indie good. here's a photo I found somewhere on flickr labelled mariqueen that must be her.

finally, someone who really is too sexy for her shirt. damn.

and to top it all off, west indian girl's music is pretty fantastic: to die in LA. some people just seem too cool to be true.

xmas want list

2008-12-24T19:04:00.000-08:00

if I had more time, I'd do a 30 days of xmas advent calendar sort of thing. but xmas parties to attend, shopping to do. so let's just get to the top of my list.

at the top of my list this year, 63 year-old british actress helen mirren:

look at those abs! her secret: "I have no maternal instinct whatsoever." childbirth deforms a woman. children ruin her.

I read somewhere dame helen speaks russian. i love russian.

merry xmas to all and to all merry exes.

bettie page

2008-12-12T10:47:00.000-08:00

bettie page is not dead? unfortunately, not anymore. I always thought she had rather small breasts for a quintessential pinup, but actually, she has quite a nice figure. almost modest, which seems to be the visible manifestation of her personality.

rest in peace, sweet pornographer.

and happy holidays.

millicent rogers

2008-10-17T11:21:00.000-07:00

a new york times review of a new biography about roald dahl described millicent, whose giant peach both dahl and ian fleming tasted, as "stunning."

stunning? perhaps. wantable? not.

santogold

2008-10-16T19:31:00.000-07:00

santogold has a sick sexy voice, though you could forget if you watch this stupid video. her voice sounds to me what the former lead singer of the sneaker pimps -- who also kinda sounds like her -- looks like:

in fact, i was having a hard time finding a wantable photo that did her justice. finally found this:

stacy elizabeth beshear

2008-10-07T18:56:00.000-07:00

read about this woman yesterday. some nutcase that's been stalking luke walton. couldn't find a photo last night. but of course I looked.

for some reason, it seems like the kind of name a really cute (psycho) girl would have. this is not what I had in mind:

even the internet's asking for a restraining order on this crazy bitch.

lara logan

2008-08-30T09:23:00.000-07:00

hot. scandalously hot.

seriously. blonde or brunette, she's hot.

mccain supporter

2008-08-27T21:44:00.000-07:00

I really want the t-shirt. but I'll take the cute girl, too.

evelyn nesbit (in stanford white frame)

2008-08-23T11:42:00.000-07:00

a chorus girl fancied by stanford white. she claimed he took her virginity, but I'm sure she said that to all the middle-aged world-famous womanizing architects.

there's a nude (under-age?) painting of her on wikipedia (I think the artist undersized her breasts out of artistic delicacy.)

if there was a website where scungellis travelled back in time to bang the hottest girls in history, she would sure be one of their first stops.

becky hammond

2008-08-20T21:31:00.000-07:00

sure she's a traitor to this country. but she's cute.

christine toy johnson

2008-08-10T18:37:00.000-07:00

now this is the kind of woman who really turns me on.

ran across her by accident just now touring the web. she's a theater, occasional tv actress.

not confused with ki toy johnson, though i wouldn't kick either one off the set of my latest hip-hop video.

janeane garofalo

2008-08-09T13:52:00.000-07:00

garofalo reminds me a bit of an ex-girlfriend. like my ex, she can look hot at times and frumpy at times. i like this. because when she's hot, it makes her look even hotter. here she is looking hot, and like my ex:

looks good with sunglasses.

wantable porn, pt. 2

2008-08-02T12:08:00.000-07:00

a couple days ago i was lamenting the boringness of most porn i see on the internet now. i'm sick of crap like the bang brothers. even most the stuff on youporn is tired mainstream stuff.

another site, besides craigslist, where I can still find interesting stuff is the 4chan forums. from /b/ today:

tamika riley

2008-07-29T20:03:00.000-07:00

who's that, you ask? she helped bring down the 72 year-old mayor of newark, nj. you can see why:

he got two years in prison today for making her some sweetheart deals. oh, what political favors wouldn't I give to tap that?

interesting before-and-after-indictment photos posted by some right-wing loon here.

which prompts an idea for a new reality show: unpimp this perp.

amaia salamanca

2008-07-26T09:26:00.000-07:00

found amaia on chickipedia. hit the random chick link. no idea who she is. all the more reason to want her.

yes, chickipedia. this looks promising. especially if you need help rubbing one out on short notice. just see this page.

i like to believe there is a team of developers in an office building somewhere sitting in cubicles and having meetings in conference rooms working on this.

jeanette lee

2008-07-18T13:22:00.000-07:00

jeanette lee is one of those women who reminds me why I objectify women. she looks a little different in every photo I see of her, but always poisonous and beautiful. probably because she often taking aim with a long pointy stick.

man, I'd love to rack her up. more at her website.

oh, and the best part: she's from brooklyn!

zoe margolis or abby lee

2008-07-15T19:57:00.000-07:00

zoe, or abby, blogs candidly about her sex life. yeah, such blogs are a dime a dozen. but she's also hot. ok, most young women who do this are fairly attractive. but the ones I've met don't have what I am sure is a sexy british accent.

she is also the last google for "money shot", which is how I came across her.

chloe dao

2008-07-12T13:39:00.000-07:00

never watched project runway, but would have if I had known about chloe dao. apparently she won this season.

this is one chick who knows how to fill out a rack!

wtapilf updated

2008-07-02T20:45:00.000-07:00

in light of zheng jie's unexpected run at wimbledon and her unexpected wantability (she's like a chinese lucy liu), i've updated my wtapilf rankings:

1. serena williams
2. zheng jie
3. bethanie mattek

once again it's #1 vs #2.

wtapilf

2008-06-30T14:47:00.000-07:00

my latest wtapilf rankings:

1. serena williams
2. bethanie mattek
3. ana ivanovic

it's #1 vs #2 this week at wimbledon.

alexa ray joel

2008-06-29T11:45:00.000-07:00

1 gnomish alcoholic 70s rockstar + 1 80s supermodel = 2000s trust fund babe

I want your big nose, I want your fish eyes
I want you just the way you are

glossygrrl

2008-06-11T18:45:00.000-07:00

I love it when they use this angle:

From a true ad. I'm saying not true. $200 for 6 mos on true or 200 roses for a half-hour off craigslist? On craigslist at least you'll get your money's worth.

in tragedy, hope

2008-05-20T19:17:00.000-07:00

a chinese police woman spontaneously breast feeds two orphans of the earthquakes:

compassionate, erotic, iconic

kate pierson

2008-04-17T18:54:00.000-07:00

The B-52's released their first album in like 30 years earlier this month, reminding me how much I used to lust after Kate Pierson when I was in the 3rd grade. Rocked my lobster many an afternoon to her voice:

ashley alexandra dupre

2008-03-12T18:33:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I'd definitely sacrifice the governorship of New York for her. But $1000 for an hour? Hmmm... Can I post photos on my website afterwards?

New York Times article (they cut off the best part of the photo)

fark thread (with disappointing lack of additional photographage)

milf from my office?

2008-03-01T10:00:00.000-08:00

came across this photo on a ebaums thread the other day:

someone commented:

I work with #17!!!!!!!!!!!! I would also like to work her. She is a single divorced mom.

I must work with this guy, too, because this woman looks just a like a single divorced mom from my office, rack and all.

diablo cody

2008-02-25T19:12:00.000-08:00

prefer russian myself.

christy canyon

2008-02-18T19:26:00.000-08:00

I admit I have a thing for older woman. I'm a relentless cougar hunter. And here's the queen cougar, in her prime:

For full photo, go here.

bette davis

2008-02-16T18:59:00.000-08:00

bette davis, about 150 years before madonna.

keep your bette davis eyes. I want your bette davis chest.

sasha-frere jones

2008-01-28T19:06:00.000-08:00

or S.F. Jones, as I like to call him. music critic, new yorker.

was I the only one who thought he was some hip hot black chick?

friendster shirl

2008-01-20T10:00:00.000-08:00

just got an email from friendster saying the babe below left me a message on friendster.

unfortunately, I don't remember my friendster login. but I'm sure the message was all about how she wants to sex me up.

keely shaye smith

2008-01-18T16:04:00.000-08:00

otherwise known as Mrs. Pierce Brosnan. she's been catching a lot of flack this week for wearing a bikini out in public.

now I'm generally not into the whole bbw thing. but I think this woman is sexy. you see, it's all in the proportion. (she does have a little too much of the fatty in her face.)

team jelena

2008-01-15T19:35:00.000-08:00

with the australian open underway, I introduce: the women's doubles team of my dreams.

jelena dokic / jelena jankovic

(damn, that thigh turns me on...)

got milk?

2008-01-06T20:39:00.000-08:00

I know I'm supposed to be appalled, outraged, politically charged by this. instead, I'm inappropriately aroused. of course, it plays right to my lactation fetish.

padma lakshmi

2008-01-03T23:38:00.000-08:00

Host of a show called Top Chef that I've never seen:

I want her to cook me dinner. Then I want her for dessert. But I want dessert first.

As for Salman, the jihadists can have him.

benazir bhutto

2007-12-28T11:59:00.000-08:00

Wanted alive:

For a more objective assessment of her wantability, found this photo somewhere on flickr which purports to be Bhutto in a bikini:

But make no mistake, just because you'd do Benazir Bhutto in a Karachi minute doesn't mean she wouldn't do you even quicker. She was ruthless. How many of you have iced your own brother?

sarah antoinette

2007-11-04T20:02:00.000-08:00

I'm assuming that the person who sent me this message on myspace is not actually the one pictured in the profile:

Subject: I'd like to know you

Hi I'm Sarah.

I seen your pix in ur profile and thought you were really cute. I'm new on myspace and I don't really know what the hell I'm doing... But my girlfriend told me some great stories about this site so I thought I'd give it a try and see what this is all about. I am on my Webcam now. If this is your thing too. Let's chat. CLICK HERE to find me! I will let you ask me anything... hihihi

First, I want to know whose photo this is:

Then I want her.

elvira

2007-10-31T19:44:00.000-07:00

You know what's creepy?

Elvira still looks hot after all these year. She was a VILF (Vampiress I'd Like to...) back when I was a kid watching her on channel 9. She must be undead. Totally necro-erotic.

beyoncé

2007-10-21T14:31:00.000-07:00

Man, look at those thighs. Like chocolate thunder.

I want to just put my head between them and have her squeeze.

There ought to be somewhere you can go and pay for that. Like a salon. Or Disneyland.

naomi klein

2007-09-29T15:44:00.000-07:00

she's a critic of globalization and she's hot:

she can shock my doctrine any... oh, forget it.

sarah silverman in magical pushup bra

2007-09-25T19:44:00.000-07:00

from maxim:

that's a borderline want. but she's gotta keep the bra on. and do really, really weird kinky shit. like hump an invisible lolcat.

by the way, the secret of the push-up bra? it turns the breasts sideways.

abedin huma

2007-09-18T19:38:00.000-07:00

came across Abedin Huma's name in this week's New Yorker, where she's described as:

a strikingly attractive woman of Indian and Pakistani descent who recently showed up in a photo spread in Vogue.

well, here she is:

meh. not as irresistible as I was led to believe. bit of a horse face. but I find the idea that she munches Hillary's carpet kinda hot. do they let Bill watch?

holly you

2007-09-17T22:13:00.001-07:00

Asian: check
braces: check
cleavage: check
weird 80s motif: check
second person pronoun for last name: check

To quote George Frideric Handel: Holly-You-Yeah!

children of the anne geddes

2007-09-13T17:21:00.000-07:00

walked by an anne geddes shop today. is there anything creepier? furry pedophilia.

happy birthday, virginia madsen

2007-09-11T20:14:00.000-07:00

virginia madsen is 46 today. really. look it up.

the new britney

2007-09-10T08:03:00.000-07:00

am I the only one who thinks britney is hotter than ever? I guess so. oh well, more for me. suckahs.

vanessa hudgens

2007-09-07T18:41:00.000-07:00

the nude photo of the disney star has inspired a lot of wags to call for a razor. but the room furnishings are too precious as it is. a cleanly shaved maiden would have reduced the tableau to the level of pedophilic Victorian prurience and made it all a little too pervy. even for me.

it's the furze that begets the want because, as Thomas Hardy might say, it's the furze that begets the humanity.

or something like that. all I know is that if she had didn't have any pubic hair, I wouldn't want her.

salma hayek

2007-09-06T19:47:00.000-07:00

there's been a lot of not around here lately. to make up for it, a bit of good old-fashioned unadulterated want:

damn, that's want!

fred thompson

2007-09-05T23:33:00.001-07:00

some guy on Craigslist

2007-09-04T19:31:00.000-07:00

My friend is looking for an apartment in OC and came across this:

$800 Daring Trapeze Artist seeks prefessional lionhandler for roommate
________________________________________
Reply to: hous-410454614@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-08-31, 12:10AM PDT

Here's the situation:

2 bedroom, 1 bath, single attached wall in quite end of Laguna woods complex. unit has (Aside from me living there) hardwood floors, washer/dryer, enclosed carport, A/C (doesn't work worth a damn when its 100º outside) Internets, cable (basic digi + HBO/Cinemax) theres a patio and some windows in this joint.

So, now onto the really impressive stuff. My 9"cock.

Woah, wait. WTF that took a weird turn. Ok, Let's try and get the truth out. Im a 32 year old graphic designer who works in the auto industry, been with the same company for 8+ years. Yup, going places! HA! I'm obsessed with volkswagens and supermoto bikes. A few things im not obsessed with: superstitions, war, caddy, shallow idiots. This is me in a nutshell MYSPACE.com/forrestdrunk

I was raised on early 90's indie rock, 80's/90's punk and hardcore. I dont tend to play alot of my shit in the living room, so if it sounds like a gorilla trying to swallow a mic, odds are I busted out the unbroken or converge LP's.

I'm a fairly easy to get along with person, I don't judge and dont care what you do. You like sticking your fingers in your ass, wearing diapers to bed. Whatever. Rents due on the first, I just dont want to find your bloated corpse with a tie around your neck after a botched auto-erotic asphyxiation episode. Just because the trolls on sex in the city did it, doesn't give every moron license to go knocking one out like a trained professional.

I tend to border on a more vegetarian based diet, however I have no problems with anything anyone eats. With one exception, veggies dont last 4 weeks so please dear god throw them shits out before it smells like hot garbage on a summer day inside the fridge.

$800 includes all utilities, enclosed carport, mail delivery and wit (not necessarily mine though)

Oh, If I come home and theres nickelback, creed, korn, stained, tantric, barenaked ladies or any similar bands playing on any stereo but the one in your room. I swear to god i'll throw the entire fucking stereo out the window. There's a million amazing, brilliant musicians playing truly creative and ground breaking music. There is absolutely no fucking reason to support shit stains like the aforementioned bands. Unless of course you're totally fucking retarded. Like really fucking retarded and in that case, what the fuck are you doing looking for apartments. Get back to finding porn on the internet.

I think thats more than enough of a post to scare most of you away. So lemme re-hash. Shitty music bad, saddleback church really fucking bad, choking yourself out - could be bad, then again it could be awesome.

I'd kill a retarded baby to find a cool, fun roommate. Male or Female.

kate hudson

2007-09-03T20:03:00.000-07:00

not. well, not enough to slash my wrists anyway. even if she does surf.

Time cover girl

2007-08-30T23:21:00.000-07:00

she looks like my cousin. which makes me want her even more.

markie post

2007-08-11T18:53:00.000-07:00

can you say 1982?

krysten sinema

2007-07-15T22:48:00.000-07:00

she's a state senator from arizona or something.

babes of harry potter

2007-07-12T19:15:00.000-07:00

no, yes, meh

some random chick on myspace

2007-06-26T22:50:00.000-07:00

or was she?

that high school pole vaulter chick

2007-06-14T19:54:00.000-07:00

perhaps the most wantest want in internet history. some expressed reservations about her wantability because of her age (and not being of consentability and all) and her announced aversion to the limelight. but her dad's a bit of a grandstanding douche. so it all evens out.

monica goodling

2007-05-25T21:05:00.000-07:00

I'm sure this counts this counts as a solid want in most neocon, young republican, liberty university student union circles. for someone with a more liberal attitude, not so much.

kate beckinsale

2007-05-22T19:30:00.000-07:00

I know this will probably elicit a few cries of "the ghey!" but her new airbrushed tarted-up plastic-fantastic look just doesn't do it for me. now if we could go back to the days of Cold Comfort Farm, then definitely. give me some of that broccoli.

swami's

2007-04-24T16:23:00.000-07:00

do not want girl with scarf

2007-04-13T18:37:00.000-07:00

the feeling is not mutual

porn fight

2007-01-12T23:18:00.000-08:00

saw a repeat of that porn fight episode of the Family Business recently where Dillan Lauren throws a beat down on Ava Vincent:

I can't say I'd want either of these twats individually:

but I'd want to be there for the hot lesbian make-up sex afterwards for sure. that would be one hot lesbian make-up sex sandwich.

see the full melee here: yikers.com

miko lee and kianna dior

2006-12-24T19:56:00.000-08:00

my two favorites porn stars. together looking at porn. we have so much in common. so much want.

merry xmas.

ann coulter

2006-11-06T00:07:00.000-08:00

just for the record

poet sonia sanchez

2006-10-22T21:15:00.000-07:00

you would think with a name like sonia sanchez, I would want. but no.

emiri yoshikawa

2006-10-18T19:49:00.000-07:00